I am a very musical person so I must have music all around me wherever I go even if that means I have to create the music myself by belting out a tune, humming a melody, snapping my fingers or even finding a steady rhythm in the environmental sounds all around me. They're there if you listen.
Sometimes when I'm cleaning my house or driving in my car, I hear a certain song that makes the images in my head start firing like a projector on a movie screen. We all have those songs that take our minds away to another time, another place, even another reality. Sometimes those little films in our brains are comedies, sometimes they're dramas and sometimes they're tragedies. I tend to change the channel when a song comes on that makes me think of things I'd rather not think about but every once and a while I pause...and I let my mind wander back to a place a long, long time ago when living in a city like Las Vegas was unimaginable to me. Photographic images flash one by one at lightning speed and my senses and emotions come alive to such an extent that I feel like I'm traveling back in time to whatever point in history those images are coming from.
I had the same reaction the other day when my friend, who is also from Alabama but no longer lives there, and I got together for the afternoon when she stopped to visit me on her way to California. She reads my blog and was curious about the one where I seemed to pine away for the days when I lived in Alabama. She asked me if I wanted to move back to Bama and if I ever could, would I? My answer may surprise you but the answer is that I'd rather not. I feel like I've outgrown Alabama. The truth is I never really belonged in Alabama and I am a much better version of myself when I don't live there. I never seemed to fit in anywhere. I wasn't happy. I felt isolated and imprisoned. I know that sounds very dramatic and slightly delusional but I have a very big personality. I needed to see the world and I needed to meet different kinds of people who could show me things I had never seen before.
I don't like normalcy but I also don't like being made to feel like I'm weird or abnormal just because I'm not like everybody else. I think everyone around me sensed that I was a caged tiger and as soon as I was set free I would escape and never look back. I knew I would never marry a man from Alabama or even the south for that matter because I feared that he would tie me down to a region where I didn't feel like I could be myself. I, instead, married a man who had already seen plenty of places in the world and who planned to see more. He wasn't from Alabama, the south or even this country. He had the means and the know-how to get me out of Alabama, he was gorgeous, I loved him and he loved me. Because of him, my children will never know what it's like to not be allowed to be true to themselves. I won't allow that to happen.
In Las Vegas, we see all kinds of interesting people and we adore everyone of them. Nothing fazes my kids either. We actually had a twenty-something year old woman follow us all over Lowe's all the way to the check-out counter. She didn't even purchase anything and when we drove away in our car, she drove away in hers. I still don't know what that was about but we think of that girl fondly because she was wearing a Cat Woman suit and we respect the hell out of her for that. And just the other day, Gemma said, "Mommy, I saw a lady who didn't have any pockets so she put her phone in her bra." I simply said, "Well, that was smart thinking." We all smiled and agreed that she must be very, very smart. I LOVE it here!!!
Alabama is dear to my heart and I don't regret a single thing that happened in Alabama or a single day I spent there because everything that I experienced contributed to the development of the person that I am today. My family is there, I met my husband and got married there, my father is buried there and my children were born there. It is a very special place but I won't lie. Growing up there was extremely difficult for me in a lot of ways but Alabama will always be considered my home whether I live there again or not.
I might even move back one day, a long time from now but there's other things I need to do first. I'd like to time travel and tell that scared, frustrated, bigger than life little girl in Alabama that everything is gonna be all right. She's gonna have everything she ever wanted and she's gonna be happier than she could ever imagine. I'd like to tell her to not change that channel when a song comes on that reminds of her of her trials and tribulations. I want her to listen to them. They are a reminder of everything that she's overcome and of all the lessons she's ever learned. They will remind her what a strong, determined girl she is. I want to tell her that one day, a not so long time away, she will be listening to a song that takes her back to this moment in time and she'll start smiling and shaking her head, still in disbelief at her very fortunate turn of events.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Living in Las Vegas: Observation #2:
"Sunshine on my shoulder makes me smile"...unless it's burning a hole straight through my shirt and leaving an aching sunburn in under 30 seconds like it does here in Vegas. For some reason everyone wants to wear their ability to withstand baking temperatures like a badge of honor and discuss this superpower openly on FB.
Everyone, of course, thinks wherever they live is hotter and more intolerable than everywhere else, but the same can be said for people living in cold weather climates and we dealt with this in Chicagoland. There comes a point when it just doesn't matter. Hot is hot and cold is cold. Aren't there more important things to worry about like who will make the most profit on Storage Wars (Dave seems to be losing his moxy)?
I will say that I have lived in South Alabama and Hong Kong and now Las Vegas and was forced to go house/apt hunting and inevitably move into said house/apt during the hottest month of the year in all of those extremely hot locations. Therefore, I "feel" like I can talk objectively about the differences and give everyone credit where credit is due.
I'll have to say that it was hilarious watching the Hong Kongers pull out their North Face jackets when the temperature dipped below 70 degrees (Alabamians do the same thing) but it was equally side-splitting listening to the Chicago locals moan on and on about the heat when, to me, it never really warmed up there. Honestly, I will take the heat over the cold any day of the week but I have Reynaud's syndrome and I actually ended up with frostbite on my toe while we lived in Chicago. The winters in Chicagoland are nothing to take lightly and those people know how to handle the cold weather and blizzards like no other place I've been. But I hate the cold. Hate it , hate it, hate it!!!
I love hot weather. I love cooling off in the pool and I love not having a real winter but this may be because that's the kind of environment I was raised in. Stick with what you know, right? I love the heat, up to a point, but it's the humidity that I find intolerable. My make-up evaporates in the blink of an eye, my clothes get drenched in uncomfortable sweat and my hair sticks to my neck even if I have it pulled up causing whelps and rashes all over my head. High humidity is absolutely miserable. Before the Alabama/HK folks rejoice in victory, though, I have to add that the dry air is just as brutal in different ways. Las Vegas actually has some humidity sometimes and I use the word "some" loosely. Just like Chicago folks don't know what hot is and Alabamians/Hong Kongers don't know what cold is, Vegas locals don't know what humidity is.
They think it's funny that I have humidifiers running at all times in my house but without them my entire body dries out from the inside out, I get headaches and nosebleeds and my lungs hurt. I feel like I can't breathe and I feel like I can't get enough water. I can actually feel the water being stolen from my lungs by the desert heat and it's painful. I need moisture in my body desperately and the humidifiers make me feel healthy and comfortable.
In the sun, Vegas is much hotter than Alabama and the sun is deadly and will cause a sunburn in minutes. But because the humidity is so low, any shade can bring a 20 degree temperature drop making it very comfortable and enjoyable to be outside. I actually had the windows tinted in my car AND my house, yes my house, to block out that potent desert sun. I have never felt the need to do that anywhere else I've lived. Night time, when the sun goes down and a light breeze blows, is very pleasant here in LV and has become my favorite time of the day.
In Alabama and HK, the morning was my favorite time of the day. It's really the only time that it was ever cool there and I made the most of my mornings by running along the Repulse Bay promenade to Deep Water Bay. I miss that. So, in my opinion, nowhere is perfect. It's just important to find things that will make you more comfortable where ever you're living and to share those ideas with others so they can be comfortable, too. And after living in HK and rarely seeing the sun because the pollution was so thick, I love seeing the bright sunshine again. Sunshine really does make me smile, but only while I'm wearing SPF 100 and my Maui Jim sunglasses. Smile. : )
Everyone, of course, thinks wherever they live is hotter and more intolerable than everywhere else, but the same can be said for people living in cold weather climates and we dealt with this in Chicagoland. There comes a point when it just doesn't matter. Hot is hot and cold is cold. Aren't there more important things to worry about like who will make the most profit on Storage Wars (Dave seems to be losing his moxy)?
I will say that I have lived in South Alabama and Hong Kong and now Las Vegas and was forced to go house/apt hunting and inevitably move into said house/apt during the hottest month of the year in all of those extremely hot locations. Therefore, I "feel" like I can talk objectively about the differences and give everyone credit where credit is due.
I'll have to say that it was hilarious watching the Hong Kongers pull out their North Face jackets when the temperature dipped below 70 degrees (Alabamians do the same thing) but it was equally side-splitting listening to the Chicago locals moan on and on about the heat when, to me, it never really warmed up there. Honestly, I will take the heat over the cold any day of the week but I have Reynaud's syndrome and I actually ended up with frostbite on my toe while we lived in Chicago. The winters in Chicagoland are nothing to take lightly and those people know how to handle the cold weather and blizzards like no other place I've been. But I hate the cold. Hate it , hate it, hate it!!!
I love hot weather. I love cooling off in the pool and I love not having a real winter but this may be because that's the kind of environment I was raised in. Stick with what you know, right? I love the heat, up to a point, but it's the humidity that I find intolerable. My make-up evaporates in the blink of an eye, my clothes get drenched in uncomfortable sweat and my hair sticks to my neck even if I have it pulled up causing whelps and rashes all over my head. High humidity is absolutely miserable. Before the Alabama/HK folks rejoice in victory, though, I have to add that the dry air is just as brutal in different ways. Las Vegas actually has some humidity sometimes and I use the word "some" loosely. Just like Chicago folks don't know what hot is and Alabamians/Hong Kongers don't know what cold is, Vegas locals don't know what humidity is.
They think it's funny that I have humidifiers running at all times in my house but without them my entire body dries out from the inside out, I get headaches and nosebleeds and my lungs hurt. I feel like I can't breathe and I feel like I can't get enough water. I can actually feel the water being stolen from my lungs by the desert heat and it's painful. I need moisture in my body desperately and the humidifiers make me feel healthy and comfortable.
In the sun, Vegas is much hotter than Alabama and the sun is deadly and will cause a sunburn in minutes. But because the humidity is so low, any shade can bring a 20 degree temperature drop making it very comfortable and enjoyable to be outside. I actually had the windows tinted in my car AND my house, yes my house, to block out that potent desert sun. I have never felt the need to do that anywhere else I've lived. Night time, when the sun goes down and a light breeze blows, is very pleasant here in LV and has become my favorite time of the day.
In Alabama and HK, the morning was my favorite time of the day. It's really the only time that it was ever cool there and I made the most of my mornings by running along the Repulse Bay promenade to Deep Water Bay. I miss that. So, in my opinion, nowhere is perfect. It's just important to find things that will make you more comfortable where ever you're living and to share those ideas with others so they can be comfortable, too. And after living in HK and rarely seeing the sun because the pollution was so thick, I love seeing the bright sunshine again. Sunshine really does make me smile, but only while I'm wearing SPF 100 and my Maui Jim sunglasses. Smile. : )
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Living in Las Vegas: Observation #1:
The journey from Hong Kong to Las Vegas was a long and bittersweet transition from the comfortable existence I had come to known in Hong Kong to the uncertain and mysterious life waiting for me in Sin City. In some ways, life in LV began in much the same way that life in HK had begun...learning to drive on the "wrong" side of the road. For those of you that don't know me that well, it might be helpful to know that I despise change of any kind. Once I get comfortable in a place or situation, I will only give up that familiarity with brute force or with the fear of losing my freedom. I find not having freedom and independence more distasteful than change and it was for this reason that I learned to drive...for the third time in my life.
Since we sold our house, cars and anything with a plug before we moved to HK, the first thing we needed to do when we got to Vegas was buy a car, well, two cars actually but I'll try to stay focused. I wanted a Lexus like we had in HK but Iain was disgruntled with the fact that they don't come with a built-in aux so we looked to the fail safe brand that I was raised on...Nissan. My father would be so proud that we are a two Nissan family just like he'd always hoped. As Dave Ramsey recommends, we got a three-year-old car with low miles that has been really well taken care of and rides like a dream. It's a Nissan Murano LE. We chose the champagne color cause it matches my hair and skin tone and according to Benny the curtain guy in HK, that color looks "rich." Benny is a funny guy.
Anyway, I didn't actually have to drive for a couple of weeks because Iain had some time off before he started working in the LV office and I really appreciated it, too. Once again, it felt really strange riding on the other side of the car. When the time came for Iain to head to work, I felt queasy and hot and I got the back sweats just thinking about driving the kids to camp by myself on different roads in a different city in a different car on the opposite side of the car. I had to do it, though. The kids were counting on me and I really needed some ME time so I sucked it up and I drove them, very slowly like a new dad bringing his new baby home from the hospital.
I made it there and back and every day it got easier. Pretty soon I found myself driving very aggressively like the Hong Kongers but I had to reign myself in because when I saw other women like me pulled over for speeding or whatever I realized that the LVPD won't ignore me like the HKPD did. I'm not a gweilo in the US. I'm just a mom who shuttles her kids from one place to another and occasionally shops at Target, HomeGoods, Smith's and Gymboree. Even though I am nowhere near Alabama or my family I love love love being back home in the USA but I think of Hong Kong fondly and actually miss some aspects of it. I miss my friends, I miss the incredible view of the South China Sea from my 15th floor apartment, I miss Lan Kwai Fong and I definitely miss Ebeneezer's Kebabs.
But I think that life in Las Vegas is gonna be pretty good. Iain loves his job, the kids love their school and we all love this house with a pool in the back yard. We've got some great neighbors (one of them is a dentist which is helpful) and we have tons of convenient shopping within walking distance if we ever feel like trekking in this heat. We even have beautiful mountain views all around us which most people don't expect to see in LV.
I've moved around a lot, more than I ever dreamed I would, and it's taken me far from Alabama. I haven't forgotten who I am or where I came from and I am trying to raise my children to have a good southern way about them which to me is the most important thing I can do for them. God won't even let me forget where I came from because every time the sun sets over Red Rock Canyon, the desert sand kicks up a bright orange glow into the brilliant blue sky and we can almost see an AU starting to form in the distance. It's proof that God loves me, Alabama and the Auburn Tigers and no matter where I am in the world, I know Alabama will always be there and that's what comforts me through all of this change.
Since we sold our house, cars and anything with a plug before we moved to HK, the first thing we needed to do when we got to Vegas was buy a car, well, two cars actually but I'll try to stay focused. I wanted a Lexus like we had in HK but Iain was disgruntled with the fact that they don't come with a built-in aux so we looked to the fail safe brand that I was raised on...Nissan. My father would be so proud that we are a two Nissan family just like he'd always hoped. As Dave Ramsey recommends, we got a three-year-old car with low miles that has been really well taken care of and rides like a dream. It's a Nissan Murano LE. We chose the champagne color cause it matches my hair and skin tone and according to Benny the curtain guy in HK, that color looks "rich." Benny is a funny guy.
Anyway, I didn't actually have to drive for a couple of weeks because Iain had some time off before he started working in the LV office and I really appreciated it, too. Once again, it felt really strange riding on the other side of the car. When the time came for Iain to head to work, I felt queasy and hot and I got the back sweats just thinking about driving the kids to camp by myself on different roads in a different city in a different car on the opposite side of the car. I had to do it, though. The kids were counting on me and I really needed some ME time so I sucked it up and I drove them, very slowly like a new dad bringing his new baby home from the hospital.
I made it there and back and every day it got easier. Pretty soon I found myself driving very aggressively like the Hong Kongers but I had to reign myself in because when I saw other women like me pulled over for speeding or whatever I realized that the LVPD won't ignore me like the HKPD did. I'm not a gweilo in the US. I'm just a mom who shuttles her kids from one place to another and occasionally shops at Target, HomeGoods, Smith's and Gymboree. Even though I am nowhere near Alabama or my family I love love love being back home in the USA but I think of Hong Kong fondly and actually miss some aspects of it. I miss my friends, I miss the incredible view of the South China Sea from my 15th floor apartment, I miss Lan Kwai Fong and I definitely miss Ebeneezer's Kebabs.
But I think that life in Las Vegas is gonna be pretty good. Iain loves his job, the kids love their school and we all love this house with a pool in the back yard. We've got some great neighbors (one of them is a dentist which is helpful) and we have tons of convenient shopping within walking distance if we ever feel like trekking in this heat. We even have beautiful mountain views all around us which most people don't expect to see in LV.
I've moved around a lot, more than I ever dreamed I would, and it's taken me far from Alabama. I haven't forgotten who I am or where I came from and I am trying to raise my children to have a good southern way about them which to me is the most important thing I can do for them. God won't even let me forget where I came from because every time the sun sets over Red Rock Canyon, the desert sand kicks up a bright orange glow into the brilliant blue sky and we can almost see an AU starting to form in the distance. It's proof that God loves me, Alabama and the Auburn Tigers and no matter where I am in the world, I know Alabama will always be there and that's what comforts me through all of this change.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
DDay -6
Observation #19: When I see movie stars, whether they are walking down the street or walking the red carpet, I can't help but to be intrigued (not envious) by their lives. The glitz, the glamour and the gawking from passers-by might appear to someone from the outside looking in as the kind of lifestyle that anyone would be lucky to live. I, on the other hand, prefer anonymity and privacy. I don't like people watching me or taking my picture and I don't like feeling like an animal on parade in the circus. But how can someone like me who is only a mom and a part-time school teacher be privy to the dark side of being a celebrity, such as people intruding on my personal space, interrupting my family time and touching me without permission? It's because I live in Hong Kong.
Don't get me wrong, it was quite flattering when it first started happening which is probably the first reaction that movie stars have when they start getting lots of attention from simply shopping at the grocery store or waiting in a roller coaster queue at Ocean Park. At first, I couldn't figure out why people were reacting so strangely to us even though we were doing nothing out of the ordinary. I even commented on several occasions, "This must be what's it like to be a movie star." I even thought it was kind of cool and entertaining in a weird exhibitionist sort of way. It wasn't long before flattery became offense because my children were especially admired and pestered by what I thought were the Hong Kong locals. It seemed weird that the Hong Kongers would react so intensely because they are use to westerners. After all, they were controlled by Britain for 99 years.
I soon figured out that the people who have seemingly no concept of what normal people act like in a civilized society aren't Hong Kongers at all. They are mainland Chinese tourists. Please understand. I have met and become friends with many Chinese people from Beijing and Guangzhou and they are very civilized, interesting, and friendly people. I, however, am referring to the the country, farm, small town folks that don't get out much. I can say that because I am a country, farm, small town girl myself but being raised in the western world, I was able to assimilate (kind of) with the city folks with no problems...mo men tai. The country people of China have no access to television, movies, news, magazines or internet except what is deemed acceptable by the government and they have limited travel visas restricting the countries they can visit. Hong Kong is one of the countries they are allowed to explore, but only people who live in certain provinces of China get access to Hong Kong visas.
China is slowly but surely extending the list of provinces on the travel list and we can easily tell when a new province has been added. They all get on their tour buses and travel to Repulse Bay, stopping at Ocean Park for the day on the way. While waiting in line for the Dragon, mainlanders will position themselves in front of my children so they can secretly have their picture taken with my kids. At least they think they are being covert but we know what they are doing. My children will hide behind me and whisper, "Mommy, that person keeps trying to take my picture."
My son, especially, has become very wary of strangers, which can be a good thing, but he is over the top leery of everyone who comes near him. Maybe it is because the mainlanders grab his hair when he walks by (I'm told they think it brings good luck), touch his face, touch his shirt, smell of him (yes, I said smell of him), stare at him and try to photograph him. Now you get what I mean when I say that we feel like movie stars over here.
Gemma is noticed, too but she is so dreadfully shy and her hair is so long that when she puts her head down and tucks her body in she completely disappears. She has learned to do this whenever she sees a mainlander approaching her with a camera. So the mainlanders latch on to poor Liam, who doesn't have lustrous, thick locks to hide behind. They pinch his cheeks, grab his face and pull him close, rub his head and ask to see his eyes. They love his eyes. He has beautiful blue eyes, blond hair and porcelain skin and I agree that he is a beautiful boy, but you just don't treat children that way. It's not flattering. It's not ok. It's threatening and weird and off-putting.
It doesn't help that they push their way through crowds forcefully, not just to see my children, but also to get to the front of the line. The way the mainlanders act when they come down here gets on the local Hong Kongers nerves, too. China is crowded. I get that. But so is Hong Kong and I don't think it would hurt for China to let their country folk watch a little western tv so that when they come down here they've learned some western style manners and seen plenty of blonde hair, blue eyed people so my children would be no big deal. Maybe they can stream Baywatch on their VPN. I bet they wouldn't be as keen to take a picture of my children after watching a few hours of Pamela Anderson on the tele.
Don't get me wrong, it was quite flattering when it first started happening which is probably the first reaction that movie stars have when they start getting lots of attention from simply shopping at the grocery store or waiting in a roller coaster queue at Ocean Park. At first, I couldn't figure out why people were reacting so strangely to us even though we were doing nothing out of the ordinary. I even commented on several occasions, "This must be what's it like to be a movie star." I even thought it was kind of cool and entertaining in a weird exhibitionist sort of way. It wasn't long before flattery became offense because my children were especially admired and pestered by what I thought were the Hong Kong locals. It seemed weird that the Hong Kongers would react so intensely because they are use to westerners. After all, they were controlled by Britain for 99 years.
I soon figured out that the people who have seemingly no concept of what normal people act like in a civilized society aren't Hong Kongers at all. They are mainland Chinese tourists. Please understand. I have met and become friends with many Chinese people from Beijing and Guangzhou and they are very civilized, interesting, and friendly people. I, however, am referring to the the country, farm, small town folks that don't get out much. I can say that because I am a country, farm, small town girl myself but being raised in the western world, I was able to assimilate (kind of) with the city folks with no problems...mo men tai. The country people of China have no access to television, movies, news, magazines or internet except what is deemed acceptable by the government and they have limited travel visas restricting the countries they can visit. Hong Kong is one of the countries they are allowed to explore, but only people who live in certain provinces of China get access to Hong Kong visas.
China is slowly but surely extending the list of provinces on the travel list and we can easily tell when a new province has been added. They all get on their tour buses and travel to Repulse Bay, stopping at Ocean Park for the day on the way. While waiting in line for the Dragon, mainlanders will position themselves in front of my children so they can secretly have their picture taken with my kids. At least they think they are being covert but we know what they are doing. My children will hide behind me and whisper, "Mommy, that person keeps trying to take my picture."
My son, especially, has become very wary of strangers, which can be a good thing, but he is over the top leery of everyone who comes near him. Maybe it is because the mainlanders grab his hair when he walks by (I'm told they think it brings good luck), touch his face, touch his shirt, smell of him (yes, I said smell of him), stare at him and try to photograph him. Now you get what I mean when I say that we feel like movie stars over here.
Gemma is noticed, too but she is so dreadfully shy and her hair is so long that when she puts her head down and tucks her body in she completely disappears. She has learned to do this whenever she sees a mainlander approaching her with a camera. So the mainlanders latch on to poor Liam, who doesn't have lustrous, thick locks to hide behind. They pinch his cheeks, grab his face and pull him close, rub his head and ask to see his eyes. They love his eyes. He has beautiful blue eyes, blond hair and porcelain skin and I agree that he is a beautiful boy, but you just don't treat children that way. It's not flattering. It's not ok. It's threatening and weird and off-putting.
It doesn't help that they push their way through crowds forcefully, not just to see my children, but also to get to the front of the line. The way the mainlanders act when they come down here gets on the local Hong Kongers nerves, too. China is crowded. I get that. But so is Hong Kong and I don't think it would hurt for China to let their country folk watch a little western tv so that when they come down here they've learned some western style manners and seen plenty of blonde hair, blue eyed people so my children would be no big deal. Maybe they can stream Baywatch on their VPN. I bet they wouldn't be as keen to take a picture of my children after watching a few hours of Pamela Anderson on the tele.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
DDay - 8
Observation #18: I'm no introvert, no wallflower and I'm certainly no shrinking violet. I have absolutely no problem introducing myself to new people or embarrassing myself for the sake of a good time. And until I arrived in Hong Kong, I had never met anyone whose "extracurricular" activities shocked, disgusted or horrified me. So what is it that's so grotesque and perverted that even my completely desensitized psyche can't handle? It's the blatant, in-your-face, shameless legal prostitution that runs rampant in Hong Kong.
When I first set foot in Wan Chai, specifically at the corner of Lockhart and Luard, things seemed out of the ordinary to say the least. In broad day light, I saw girls walking down the street wearing extremely risque tops and micro-mini skirts finished with a pair of ludicrously high and titillating stilettos. "What is this place?" I thought. If it weren't for my insane addiction to Ebeneezer's extra spicy chicken tikka kebabs, I probably would have run away from there and never looked back. So I sat at my Ebeneezer's half way house and I watched the old men pair up with the Thai and Filipina ladies of the night (and day) like it was no big deal AT ALL. I couldn't believe how unabashedly the men approached the women, out in the open, in public, all eyes watching.
The practice of men meeting up with these women like they were going out on a real date was unlike anything I had ever seen so it didn't take long for my disdain to become sort of a morbid curiosity. I couldn't understand how it was even possible so I started asking around to find out more information. I quickly found out that prostitution in Hong Kong is something that everybody knows about but no one wants to talk about. Women are much more open to discussing the situation than men. I figure it's because the men don't want anyone thinking that they partake in Hong Kong's dark arts even though I have witnessed some of those men who pretend to know nothing about it fraternizing with those "who must not be named." I've seen men I know hanging out in dance clubs and strip clubs like Amazonia and Neptune where everyone knows that 99% of the ladies there are working girls. Hey, it's their business. I didn't see anything. What happens in Wan Chai stays in Wan Chai.
Eventually, I became an enlightened one. I discovered that prostitution is indeed completely legal as long as certain guidelines are followed. Pimps are not allowed. As a matter of fact, no one can make a living off the backs of prostitutes except the prostitute herself. Girls are not allowed to be part of a community brothel or whorehouse but they can become a sole-proprietorship and start what's known as a "one-woman brothel." There are apartment buildings in Wan Chai and a few in Sheung Wan that house these sole brothels, which contain little more than a bed, lube and condoms, making it easy for johns to find their dream girl for the hour. I've heard stories of suitors walking from brothel to brothel in search of a suitable candidate. If that hooker isn't what he's looking for, he merely walks away and continues the hunt. I can imagine that kind of rejection makes a disgraceful profession even more humiliating.
The business women actually prefer advertising on a website called Sex 141. Girls are rated on their skills, techniques, looks, prices and special services and they are openly discussed in a public forum so the men can narrow down their choices helping them choose that oh so special someone. The most popular service among the gentlemen callers is called the GFE (girlfriend experience) and it's this benefit that intrigues me the most. The men take the women out for dinner and dancing either before or after their carnal rendezvous which is followed up with massages, conversation and cuddling. For the women, it's strictly business but these men become addicted to the ease of the relationship and either forget how to or lose the desire to meet and court a respectable girl. I really feel sorry for all parties involved.
The girls feel like they have no other way to earn a good living and the men feel like they aren't good enough to get a girl in bed without paying for it. But it caters to the need for instant gratification that prevails in Hong Kong. Even Vegas can't compete with the utter bottom feeding that goes on in Wan Chai. I think the nickname "Sin City" was given to the wrong city. Whoever gave Las Vegas that nickname had obviously never been to Hong Kong.
When I first set foot in Wan Chai, specifically at the corner of Lockhart and Luard, things seemed out of the ordinary to say the least. In broad day light, I saw girls walking down the street wearing extremely risque tops and micro-mini skirts finished with a pair of ludicrously high and titillating stilettos. "What is this place?" I thought. If it weren't for my insane addiction to Ebeneezer's extra spicy chicken tikka kebabs, I probably would have run away from there and never looked back. So I sat at my Ebeneezer's half way house and I watched the old men pair up with the Thai and Filipina ladies of the night (and day) like it was no big deal AT ALL. I couldn't believe how unabashedly the men approached the women, out in the open, in public, all eyes watching.
The practice of men meeting up with these women like they were going out on a real date was unlike anything I had ever seen so it didn't take long for my disdain to become sort of a morbid curiosity. I couldn't understand how it was even possible so I started asking around to find out more information. I quickly found out that prostitution in Hong Kong is something that everybody knows about but no one wants to talk about. Women are much more open to discussing the situation than men. I figure it's because the men don't want anyone thinking that they partake in Hong Kong's dark arts even though I have witnessed some of those men who pretend to know nothing about it fraternizing with those "who must not be named." I've seen men I know hanging out in dance clubs and strip clubs like Amazonia and Neptune where everyone knows that 99% of the ladies there are working girls. Hey, it's their business. I didn't see anything. What happens in Wan Chai stays in Wan Chai.
Eventually, I became an enlightened one. I discovered that prostitution is indeed completely legal as long as certain guidelines are followed. Pimps are not allowed. As a matter of fact, no one can make a living off the backs of prostitutes except the prostitute herself. Girls are not allowed to be part of a community brothel or whorehouse but they can become a sole-proprietorship and start what's known as a "one-woman brothel." There are apartment buildings in Wan Chai and a few in Sheung Wan that house these sole brothels, which contain little more than a bed, lube and condoms, making it easy for johns to find their dream girl for the hour. I've heard stories of suitors walking from brothel to brothel in search of a suitable candidate. If that hooker isn't what he's looking for, he merely walks away and continues the hunt. I can imagine that kind of rejection makes a disgraceful profession even more humiliating.
The business women actually prefer advertising on a website called Sex 141. Girls are rated on their skills, techniques, looks, prices and special services and they are openly discussed in a public forum so the men can narrow down their choices helping them choose that oh so special someone. The most popular service among the gentlemen callers is called the GFE (girlfriend experience) and it's this benefit that intrigues me the most. The men take the women out for dinner and dancing either before or after their carnal rendezvous which is followed up with massages, conversation and cuddling. For the women, it's strictly business but these men become addicted to the ease of the relationship and either forget how to or lose the desire to meet and court a respectable girl. I really feel sorry for all parties involved.
The girls feel like they have no other way to earn a good living and the men feel like they aren't good enough to get a girl in bed without paying for it. But it caters to the need for instant gratification that prevails in Hong Kong. Even Vegas can't compete with the utter bottom feeding that goes on in Wan Chai. I think the nickname "Sin City" was given to the wrong city. Whoever gave Las Vegas that nickname had obviously never been to Hong Kong.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
DDay -15
Observation #17: When I first arrived in Hong Kong and I saw the unbelievably massive skyline, actually two unbelievably massive skylines (Kowloon side and Hong Kong Island side), I was excited about what would unfold in the days ahead but I was also scared to death at the prospect of having to learn my way around this huge city and start a new life here. I've lived in really big cities before; ie, Chicago, but Hong Kong is different.
The most obvious differences are the language, the culture and the lack of personal space that people are given when out and about. During my apartment hunting trip in Hong Kong, I stayed in Causeway Bay which is the one of the most congested areas of the city and I felt extremely overwhelmed. I got lost on more than one occasion but no matter how many people I asked, no one would help me. They either couldn't understand me or couldn't be bothered. I even cried while standing in the middle of the MTR station until a nice British guy helped me to get where I was going. I realized then that there are people in this city willing to help out others in need and it was at that moment that I decided to give the city a chance.
I found a great apartment with a beautiful view and I flew back home ready to collect my family and begin a new adventure. It didn't take long to find the rest of the nice people in Hong Kong. The expat community is an extremely tight knit group and we really support each other. New families get offered advice, maps and lunch dates to make them feel welcome. The great thing about being an expat in Hong Kong is that everyone you meet in this world is an expat, too. No one has family here (there are exceptions) so we need each other and we cling to each other like family. It doesn't matter what country, race, religion, culture or anything else you use to be while living in your country, when you come to Hong Kong, you are simply an expat and you are accepted and treasured for the interesting person that you are.
My children and I have learned so many wonderful things from our friends and I hope they've learned some things from us as well. Living in Hong Kong as an expat has a been a very unique experience for me and one that I'll always treasure. I've grown very close to so many people here and I plan to keep in touch with them when we leave Hong Kong for good. I'm so glad that I've had this opportunity to experience life as an expat in Hong Kong and I'll look back on these days with a sense of pride and nostalgia. I'll miss you Hong Kong.
The most obvious differences are the language, the culture and the lack of personal space that people are given when out and about. During my apartment hunting trip in Hong Kong, I stayed in Causeway Bay which is the one of the most congested areas of the city and I felt extremely overwhelmed. I got lost on more than one occasion but no matter how many people I asked, no one would help me. They either couldn't understand me or couldn't be bothered. I even cried while standing in the middle of the MTR station until a nice British guy helped me to get where I was going. I realized then that there are people in this city willing to help out others in need and it was at that moment that I decided to give the city a chance.
I found a great apartment with a beautiful view and I flew back home ready to collect my family and begin a new adventure. It didn't take long to find the rest of the nice people in Hong Kong. The expat community is an extremely tight knit group and we really support each other. New families get offered advice, maps and lunch dates to make them feel welcome. The great thing about being an expat in Hong Kong is that everyone you meet in this world is an expat, too. No one has family here (there are exceptions) so we need each other and we cling to each other like family. It doesn't matter what country, race, religion, culture or anything else you use to be while living in your country, when you come to Hong Kong, you are simply an expat and you are accepted and treasured for the interesting person that you are.
My children and I have learned so many wonderful things from our friends and I hope they've learned some things from us as well. Living in Hong Kong as an expat has a been a very unique experience for me and one that I'll always treasure. I've grown very close to so many people here and I plan to keep in touch with them when we leave Hong Kong for good. I'm so glad that I've had this opportunity to experience life as an expat in Hong Kong and I'll look back on these days with a sense of pride and nostalgia. I'll miss you Hong Kong.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
DDay -16
Observation #16: In my opinion, the greatest inventions ever created are usually the simplest. For example, I like toothpicks, matches, my battery operated hand-held milk frother (thanks, Vandi!), notepads with magnets on the back so I can stick them to the fridge and right up there with socks that don't bunch up around my toes is the Hong Kong Octopus card.
It started out in 1997 as a mass transit "contactless" card that we simply scan/touch to pay for public transportation around HK, but the Octopus card is easily the most ingenious smart card ever created because now you can use it and reload money on to it almost anywhere. To get started in the program, all you have to do is pay a $50 HKD deposit for the card at the MTR Customer Service counter and load increments of $50 or $100 on it either at the counter or at the thousands of self-service kiosks in the city. You can also load money on it at the places you shop. You can use if for purchases at the 7-Eleven, supermarkets, Starbucks, drug stores, McDonald's, the Star Ferry, museums, parking meters, vending machines and so much more. Some cabs even accept Octopus payments but with the start up costs and fees associated with each transaction, most cab drivers opt for cash only fares.
There are special "concession" rate cards that give discounts to students and senior citizens. Students can even use their cards at the school cafeteria eliminating the need to remember to send money to school everyday. Octopus Cards can also be registered online so you can load them via the internet, report them lost or stolen and convert the money stored on the lost card to a new card. Hong Kongers prefer using the Octopus card more than any other form of payment. Maybe that's why their debt to income ratio is much lower than Americans. Their motto is, "Go ahead and take my Visa card but you can have my Octopus card when you pry it from my cold, dead hand."
It started out in 1997 as a mass transit "contactless" card that we simply scan/touch to pay for public transportation around HK, but the Octopus card is easily the most ingenious smart card ever created because now you can use it and reload money on to it almost anywhere. To get started in the program, all you have to do is pay a $50 HKD deposit for the card at the MTR Customer Service counter and load increments of $50 or $100 on it either at the counter or at the thousands of self-service kiosks in the city. You can also load money on it at the places you shop. You can use if for purchases at the 7-Eleven, supermarkets, Starbucks, drug stores, McDonald's, the Star Ferry, museums, parking meters, vending machines and so much more. Some cabs even accept Octopus payments but with the start up costs and fees associated with each transaction, most cab drivers opt for cash only fares.
There are special "concession" rate cards that give discounts to students and senior citizens. Students can even use their cards at the school cafeteria eliminating the need to remember to send money to school everyday. Octopus Cards can also be registered online so you can load them via the internet, report them lost or stolen and convert the money stored on the lost card to a new card. Hong Kongers prefer using the Octopus card more than any other form of payment. Maybe that's why their debt to income ratio is much lower than Americans. Their motto is, "Go ahead and take my Visa card but you can have my Octopus card when you pry it from my cold, dead hand."
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
DDay -17:
Observation #15: Although most Americans and Westerners have become extremely obsessed with eradicating germs and work hazards, I've noticed that the local people in Hong Kong don't seem too bothered about health and safety. Before I take a stroll through Wan Chai or any other local market, I make sure that I have already eaten and therefore won't lose my appetite (but I do run the risk of throwing my food back up) and that I have something that produces a pleasant but potent odor to rub under my nose that will counteract the absolutely grotesque stench emulating from the shops.
Formerly living fish, chicken, duck, various insects, amphibians and reptiles dangle from the fishing lines along the store fronts and bask in the heat lamps and humidity. "Oh, that's safe," I think as I carry on briskly walking. I only go there to get cheap gifts and aloe vera plants. I won't buy fruits or vegetables there because I've seen those consumables lounging around with the rank, rotten animal carcases. No wonder meat in Hong Kong smells so bad. They mix seafood, chicken and beef together in the coolers (if there are coolers) so the flavors and the odors kind of simmer together all day. Yum....
Restaurants receive their food/egg/milk deliveries pretty early in the day while they are still closed so that night's menu sits on the sidewalk or in the alley for hours sunbathing in the Hong Kong heat. I'm surprised that more people here don't die of food poisoning. Honestly though, the higher end eateries are usually safe but if you're ever in Hong Kong, you might want to steer clear of the local cafes unless you have a really strong stomach or a death wish.
Work place safety is equally lax and some blue collar workers are either unconcerned or unaware about how close to death they come each day. We have seen workers balancing on the outside edges of windowsills while cleaning or repairing the roof, electricians who dismantle lights and wires without turning off the power (sometimes with wet hands!!!) and walking street cleaners who refuse to give way to the double decker buses. It never fails to amaze me when I see people here that are still alive and well after taking such reckless risks with their lives. Some of them truly seem like they are a walking time bomb or an accident waiting to happen.
I have never been anywhere in the Western world where I've felt that the people just can't be bothered to use even the tiniest amount of caution in order to protect their own lives. But then again, I never see Hong Kongers bungee jumping, bull riding or sky diving like westerners. Maybe Asians just like to get their kicks their own way. I guess everybody needs an adrenaline rush once in a while.
Formerly living fish, chicken, duck, various insects, amphibians and reptiles dangle from the fishing lines along the store fronts and bask in the heat lamps and humidity. "Oh, that's safe," I think as I carry on briskly walking. I only go there to get cheap gifts and aloe vera plants. I won't buy fruits or vegetables there because I've seen those consumables lounging around with the rank, rotten animal carcases. No wonder meat in Hong Kong smells so bad. They mix seafood, chicken and beef together in the coolers (if there are coolers) so the flavors and the odors kind of simmer together all day. Yum....
Restaurants receive their food/egg/milk deliveries pretty early in the day while they are still closed so that night's menu sits on the sidewalk or in the alley for hours sunbathing in the Hong Kong heat. I'm surprised that more people here don't die of food poisoning. Honestly though, the higher end eateries are usually safe but if you're ever in Hong Kong, you might want to steer clear of the local cafes unless you have a really strong stomach or a death wish.
Work place safety is equally lax and some blue collar workers are either unconcerned or unaware about how close to death they come each day. We have seen workers balancing on the outside edges of windowsills while cleaning or repairing the roof, electricians who dismantle lights and wires without turning off the power (sometimes with wet hands!!!) and walking street cleaners who refuse to give way to the double decker buses. It never fails to amaze me when I see people here that are still alive and well after taking such reckless risks with their lives. Some of them truly seem like they are a walking time bomb or an accident waiting to happen.
I have never been anywhere in the Western world where I've felt that the people just can't be bothered to use even the tiniest amount of caution in order to protect their own lives. But then again, I never see Hong Kongers bungee jumping, bull riding or sky diving like westerners. Maybe Asians just like to get their kicks their own way. I guess everybody needs an adrenaline rush once in a while.
DDay - 18
Observation #14: As I've touched on before, traffic in Hong Kong is something to take very seriously. But there is one thing that makes getting around here more miserable than any place I've ever been, whether I'm driving, being a pedestrian or taking the bus. That thing, or rather people, are the massive numbers of professional Hong Kong drivers who spend their day carting around the city's businessmen, Tai Tais and school children.
These drivers are usually either local Cantonese or Filipino and they earn anywhere from $500 USD to over $2000 USD per month, depending on experience. I'm sure experience matters when you're the employer and you need a driver who knows the city like the back of his hand and knows all of the traffic tricks to get to the destination quickly and safely. Those drivers, though, are very aggressive. They dart in and out of traffic, steadfastly charging in front of any vehicle, bus or pedestrian who dares to get in between their car and the road. They have been known to nudge "innocent" jay walkers with the bumper of the van (drivers are usually captains of minivans). They'll show them who's king of the road.
They will push in front of another car with centimeters to spare (or not) causing the visitor passengers in the van to gasp in shock while the employer sits there calmly with a look of satisfaction on her face. "Isn't he good?" she comments while the other people in the car are busy having a meaningful conversation with their barf bags. The inexperienced drivers are just as bad. They have absolutely no idea where they are going so they rely on navigation systems that don't always work in conjunction with Hong Kong's tall buildings so they are constantly going too slow, going the wrong direction or going in reverse because they missed their turn. They don't know driver etiquette and they don't know how to at least pretend to stay out of the way.
The worse things about the drivers, though, are the constant idling, the forever circling of parking decks and roundabouts while waiting on the employer, the blocking of streets and parking spaces for the same reason and the blocking of the school car pick-up waiting area while waiting on the children to get out of school. The drivers have nothing to do except make their pick-ups so when they are on child duty, they get in the pick-up line hours early and eventually two lanes of parked, idling vans are lining the streets. Then the sidewalk gets filled with drivers standing around chit chatting and they don't even bother to step aside so the moms can get through to pick up their children.
I understand that it's very hot in Hong Kong and they want the car to be nice and cool when the child gets in but idling is a major contributor to air pollution and it makes walking down the sidewalk extremely unpleasant and hazardous to my health. Hong Kong is even starting to crack down on idlers so a lot of the drivers circle around and around and around holding up traffic and generally aggravating everyone else on the road. When we go to the Repulse Bay Arcade, it's hard to get into the car park because it's full of drivers endlessly circling. Or worse, they are idling while sitting in a parking space that someone else could be using. My blood pressure rises just thinking about it. If it weren't for these drivers who I'm sure make life very convenient for the people who have them, traffic would run much more smoothly and the air would be much more pleasant to breathe. I would have a much sweeter disposition, too, and I'm sure that everyone will agree that would make Hong Kong a very nice place to live.
These drivers are usually either local Cantonese or Filipino and they earn anywhere from $500 USD to over $2000 USD per month, depending on experience. I'm sure experience matters when you're the employer and you need a driver who knows the city like the back of his hand and knows all of the traffic tricks to get to the destination quickly and safely. Those drivers, though, are very aggressive. They dart in and out of traffic, steadfastly charging in front of any vehicle, bus or pedestrian who dares to get in between their car and the road. They have been known to nudge "innocent" jay walkers with the bumper of the van (drivers are usually captains of minivans). They'll show them who's king of the road.
They will push in front of another car with centimeters to spare (or not) causing the visitor passengers in the van to gasp in shock while the employer sits there calmly with a look of satisfaction on her face. "Isn't he good?" she comments while the other people in the car are busy having a meaningful conversation with their barf bags. The inexperienced drivers are just as bad. They have absolutely no idea where they are going so they rely on navigation systems that don't always work in conjunction with Hong Kong's tall buildings so they are constantly going too slow, going the wrong direction or going in reverse because they missed their turn. They don't know driver etiquette and they don't know how to at least pretend to stay out of the way.
The worse things about the drivers, though, are the constant idling, the forever circling of parking decks and roundabouts while waiting on the employer, the blocking of streets and parking spaces for the same reason and the blocking of the school car pick-up waiting area while waiting on the children to get out of school. The drivers have nothing to do except make their pick-ups so when they are on child duty, they get in the pick-up line hours early and eventually two lanes of parked, idling vans are lining the streets. Then the sidewalk gets filled with drivers standing around chit chatting and they don't even bother to step aside so the moms can get through to pick up their children.
I understand that it's very hot in Hong Kong and they want the car to be nice and cool when the child gets in but idling is a major contributor to air pollution and it makes walking down the sidewalk extremely unpleasant and hazardous to my health. Hong Kong is even starting to crack down on idlers so a lot of the drivers circle around and around and around holding up traffic and generally aggravating everyone else on the road. When we go to the Repulse Bay Arcade, it's hard to get into the car park because it's full of drivers endlessly circling. Or worse, they are idling while sitting in a parking space that someone else could be using. My blood pressure rises just thinking about it. If it weren't for these drivers who I'm sure make life very convenient for the people who have them, traffic would run much more smoothly and the air would be much more pleasant to breathe. I would have a much sweeter disposition, too, and I'm sure that everyone will agree that would make Hong Kong a very nice place to live.
Monday, June 11, 2012
DDay -19
Observation #13: When you move to Hong Kong, you quickly learn that having a full-time, live-in maid, known locally as a "helper," is a way of life here and that trying to make it without one is very difficult or even impossible. There are about 300,000 foreign domestic helpers living and working in Hong Kong and the majority of them immigrated from the Philippines and Indonesia while a very small percentage immigrated from Thailand.
Women make up most of the population of helpers and even though they are meant to only help out with the chores and childcare, most people here expect the helper to take over almost all the housework and child care that a wife and mother would normally do herself in the United States. Helpers cook, clean, mend clothing, iron clothes, organize the closets, make the beds, vacuum, mop, wash clothes, wash the car, walk the dog, wash the dog, babysit the children, pick the children up from school, take the children to activities, bathe the children, read to the children, get breakfast ready, get the kids off to school in the morning, do the grocery shopping and other errands and I really could go on and on. They have to do all of this for a mere $500 USD per month.
Most helpers work from about 6 am to 8 pm but some rise as early as 5 am and don't get to go to bed until 1 or 2 am while only getting one day off per week (in Singapore they only get one day off per month!). Unlike other expats, helpers don't even earn the right to file for permanent residency in Hong Kong after living here for seven years. To be fair, helpers get a sweet deal. Their living quarters are provided for free (the law states that they must have their own private bed), they can either eat their employer's food or be given a food allowance and they get free medical care. Even when they get pregnant, they get 12 weeks maternity leave and the employer has to pay all the medical expenses for the baby to be born. Basically, they can save almost every penny they make and they are very adept at watching their pennies.
I have met helpers who save a lot more money than most Americans, probably because they work extremely hard for their money and they don't take a dime for granted. Some of them even own paid for homes in the Philippines. Those are the lucky ones. The Philippine culture requires that the oldest non-married sibling in a family be responsible for putting her other siblings through college and for taking care of the family. Those helpers come to Hong Kong because they can make a lot more money here than they can in the Philippines and are able to send a big chunk of much needed cash back home.
Although most of the helpers here are treated fairly and respectfully by both locals and expats, there's no doubt that some of them are physically, verbally and sexually abused, mostly by the locals who have been raised their whole lives to view helpers as third class non-citizens. Some of them are made to sleep under tables in the kitchen or, even worse, with the old grandfather or the young son who, as he gets older, becomes sexually interested in the girl sleeping next to him in his bed. A poor helper in this situation suffers quietly because if she files a complaint with the government, it could take up to 15 months for her case to be heard and she will not be allowed to work during that time. Since that would greatly let down her family back home, she works and she works, hoping that at the end of that two year contract, God will have mercy on her and give her a nice, respectful employer who will treat her like family.
Women make up most of the population of helpers and even though they are meant to only help out with the chores and childcare, most people here expect the helper to take over almost all the housework and child care that a wife and mother would normally do herself in the United States. Helpers cook, clean, mend clothing, iron clothes, organize the closets, make the beds, vacuum, mop, wash clothes, wash the car, walk the dog, wash the dog, babysit the children, pick the children up from school, take the children to activities, bathe the children, read to the children, get breakfast ready, get the kids off to school in the morning, do the grocery shopping and other errands and I really could go on and on. They have to do all of this for a mere $500 USD per month.
Most helpers work from about 6 am to 8 pm but some rise as early as 5 am and don't get to go to bed until 1 or 2 am while only getting one day off per week (in Singapore they only get one day off per month!). Unlike other expats, helpers don't even earn the right to file for permanent residency in Hong Kong after living here for seven years. To be fair, helpers get a sweet deal. Their living quarters are provided for free (the law states that they must have their own private bed), they can either eat their employer's food or be given a food allowance and they get free medical care. Even when they get pregnant, they get 12 weeks maternity leave and the employer has to pay all the medical expenses for the baby to be born. Basically, they can save almost every penny they make and they are very adept at watching their pennies.
I have met helpers who save a lot more money than most Americans, probably because they work extremely hard for their money and they don't take a dime for granted. Some of them even own paid for homes in the Philippines. Those are the lucky ones. The Philippine culture requires that the oldest non-married sibling in a family be responsible for putting her other siblings through college and for taking care of the family. Those helpers come to Hong Kong because they can make a lot more money here than they can in the Philippines and are able to send a big chunk of much needed cash back home.
Although most of the helpers here are treated fairly and respectfully by both locals and expats, there's no doubt that some of them are physically, verbally and sexually abused, mostly by the locals who have been raised their whole lives to view helpers as third class non-citizens. Some of them are made to sleep under tables in the kitchen or, even worse, with the old grandfather or the young son who, as he gets older, becomes sexually interested in the girl sleeping next to him in his bed. A poor helper in this situation suffers quietly because if she files a complaint with the government, it could take up to 15 months for her case to be heard and she will not be allowed to work during that time. Since that would greatly let down her family back home, she works and she works, hoping that at the end of that two year contract, God will have mercy on her and give her a nice, respectful employer who will treat her like family.
DDay -20:
Observation #12: I've been to England so I've actually experienced the bizarro world of vehicle transportation, but I personally never had to drive there. That was somebody's else job, ie; mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, etc, but it was only when I moved to Hong Kong that it became my job/problem. When we went car shopping, I searched and searched for the ONE car sitting there that might have been imported from the US or mainland and therefore it would be left side steering.
Alas, that car was not to be found so we purchased a street legal car from the Wan Chai Car Center and I started a new, albeit begrudged, era of my life. I have to admit it felt exciting, although unnatural, riding on the wrong side of the car while my husband effortlessly navigated the busy highways of Hong Kong. He made it look so easy that I actually began to think I could do it quite easily myself. I was wrong.
The first day I got in the driver's seat of the car, it felt awkward and unpleasant trying to move the transmission lever with my left hand but I managed to get it in drive and off I went...very, very slowly. As I made my way around the curves and over the bridges of Hong Kong, I began to grow more and more anxious, scared and embarrassed. There were giant buses that seemed bigger than a house towering passed me and sexy little Ferraris and Maybachs soaring by at what felt like the speed of light. I wondered how much it would cost me if I hit one of those cars.
I figured I had better slow down just to be on the safe side because I felt like I was going just way too fast for a beginning right side steering driver. I tapped the breaks only a little, don't want to cause another driver to hit me in the back. I looked in the rearview mirror to make sure the driver behind me was breaking, too but what I saw in the mirror completely freaked me out. There was a looooonnnnng line of cars full of disgruntled looking drivers behind me and I panicked. "Oh, Lord! How fast am I going?" 35 kph (20 mph)!!! What??? That's it??? On a major road!!! I was mortified. I honestly felt like I was going at least 50 mph.
When I could, I pulled over to the side of the road and I let about 40 unhappy drivers go by, those poor souls. I managed to make it to my destination, Stanley Plaza, but after that, I only drove during low traffic hours. After a few months, though and one small, insignificant accident, I actually became a pretty good right side steering driver. I finally have the spatial awareness for that other side of the car, something we take for granted when we drive the US way, so I'm not constantly curbing the tires or almost hitting pedestrians on the sidewalk. I can even maneuver my way up the notoriously tiny parking deck ramps here and the bridges designed only with horses and buggies in mind. I have also become an expert at backing into a parking space which is something that every one does here for some reason. It's fun and it makes exiting the tight quarters of the car parks much easier.
Now I just laugh when I see drivers slowly making their way up Repulse Bay Road with an unbelievably long line of traffic behind them. Most people make fun of them but I have lots of tolerance and sympathy for them because I've been in their shoes. I know that one day they will be experienced drivers here, too. They'll realize that right side steering isn't so bad. It kind of tastes like chicken.
Alas, that car was not to be found so we purchased a street legal car from the Wan Chai Car Center and I started a new, albeit begrudged, era of my life. I have to admit it felt exciting, although unnatural, riding on the wrong side of the car while my husband effortlessly navigated the busy highways of Hong Kong. He made it look so easy that I actually began to think I could do it quite easily myself. I was wrong.
The first day I got in the driver's seat of the car, it felt awkward and unpleasant trying to move the transmission lever with my left hand but I managed to get it in drive and off I went...very, very slowly. As I made my way around the curves and over the bridges of Hong Kong, I began to grow more and more anxious, scared and embarrassed. There were giant buses that seemed bigger than a house towering passed me and sexy little Ferraris and Maybachs soaring by at what felt like the speed of light. I wondered how much it would cost me if I hit one of those cars.
I figured I had better slow down just to be on the safe side because I felt like I was going just way too fast for a beginning right side steering driver. I tapped the breaks only a little, don't want to cause another driver to hit me in the back. I looked in the rearview mirror to make sure the driver behind me was breaking, too but what I saw in the mirror completely freaked me out. There was a looooonnnnng line of cars full of disgruntled looking drivers behind me and I panicked. "Oh, Lord! How fast am I going?" 35 kph (20 mph)!!! What??? That's it??? On a major road!!! I was mortified. I honestly felt like I was going at least 50 mph.
When I could, I pulled over to the side of the road and I let about 40 unhappy drivers go by, those poor souls. I managed to make it to my destination, Stanley Plaza, but after that, I only drove during low traffic hours. After a few months, though and one small, insignificant accident, I actually became a pretty good right side steering driver. I finally have the spatial awareness for that other side of the car, something we take for granted when we drive the US way, so I'm not constantly curbing the tires or almost hitting pedestrians on the sidewalk. I can even maneuver my way up the notoriously tiny parking deck ramps here and the bridges designed only with horses and buggies in mind. I have also become an expert at backing into a parking space which is something that every one does here for some reason. It's fun and it makes exiting the tight quarters of the car parks much easier.
Now I just laugh when I see drivers slowly making their way up Repulse Bay Road with an unbelievably long line of traffic behind them. Most people make fun of them but I have lots of tolerance and sympathy for them because I've been in their shoes. I know that one day they will be experienced drivers here, too. They'll realize that right side steering isn't so bad. It kind of tastes like chicken.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
DDay -21
Observation #11: One of the biggest obstacles when moving to Hong Kong is winning a place for your children in one of the many international schools here. Almost every civilized country has a campus, or two, here. We have the Hong Kong International School (American), the American International School, Australian IS, Canadian IS, Delia School (Canadian), Japanese IS, Singapore IS, Kellet School (British), Chinese IS, Norwegian IS, German-Swiss IS...you get the idea. Parents don't necessarily stick to their own country when choosing a school.
Most people apply to several schools and hope for acceptance to at least one of them. When your children get accepted to a school, you seriously feel like you won the lottery. The school situation here is one more reason, including cost of living and pollution, that people turn down job offers here. There are at least 40 international and ESF schools in Hong Kong but it is extremely difficult to get a place in a school because there are 10 times more applicants than there are places. English Schools Foundation (ESF) are sponsored by the UK, are English speaking, subsidized by the HK govt and cost less than than international schools.
Children attend the ESF school in which they are zoned based on where they live but they are just as difficult to get into as the international schools. One of the issues is that a lot of locals want their children to attend one of the international schools not only because of the stellar education they will receive but also because it increases their chances of being accepted to an American or British university.
Growing up, I always thought that Hong Kong and other countries in Asia had the best schools in the world but that's not necessarily the case. The local schools do have high test scores but parents complain that the schools are overcrowded, overly strict and abusive, don't focus on English enough and focus too much on rote learning/test taking rather than problem solving and creative thinking (more on that in a future blog). So, that means that there are thousands of local families competing with expat families for school placements. The schools were specifically designed for expats because, otherwise, these children would have no where to attend school.
In local schools, major subjects are taught in Cantonese and Mandarin which are very difficult to learn so children would lose valuable time trying to get caught up in the language instead of keeping up in math and reading. To be fair and to keep peace with the government, most international schools accept local students but cap the enrollment numbers at 50% of the student population. Even so, there are many expat children who end up with no school placement.
There are two school age boys in my building who moved here last year and have not been accepted to a school yet. It's sad to see those boys watch the other children in the building get off the school bus excited to share their day with their parents. I really hope those boys get a place next year. Maybe they can have Liam and Gemma's spots.
Most people apply to several schools and hope for acceptance to at least one of them. When your children get accepted to a school, you seriously feel like you won the lottery. The school situation here is one more reason, including cost of living and pollution, that people turn down job offers here. There are at least 40 international and ESF schools in Hong Kong but it is extremely difficult to get a place in a school because there are 10 times more applicants than there are places. English Schools Foundation (ESF) are sponsored by the UK, are English speaking, subsidized by the HK govt and cost less than than international schools.
Children attend the ESF school in which they are zoned based on where they live but they are just as difficult to get into as the international schools. One of the issues is that a lot of locals want their children to attend one of the international schools not only because of the stellar education they will receive but also because it increases their chances of being accepted to an American or British university.
Growing up, I always thought that Hong Kong and other countries in Asia had the best schools in the world but that's not necessarily the case. The local schools do have high test scores but parents complain that the schools are overcrowded, overly strict and abusive, don't focus on English enough and focus too much on rote learning/test taking rather than problem solving and creative thinking (more on that in a future blog). So, that means that there are thousands of local families competing with expat families for school placements. The schools were specifically designed for expats because, otherwise, these children would have no where to attend school.
In local schools, major subjects are taught in Cantonese and Mandarin which are very difficult to learn so children would lose valuable time trying to get caught up in the language instead of keeping up in math and reading. To be fair and to keep peace with the government, most international schools accept local students but cap the enrollment numbers at 50% of the student population. Even so, there are many expat children who end up with no school placement.
There are two school age boys in my building who moved here last year and have not been accepted to a school yet. It's sad to see those boys watch the other children in the building get off the school bus excited to share their day with their parents. I really hope those boys get a place next year. Maybe they can have Liam and Gemma's spots.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
DDay -22
Observation #10: Lan Kwai Fong, ahhhh, Lan Kwai Fong. Think about Bourbon Street in the middle of the summer in Old New Orleans (hot, humid and vibrant) and you'll come close to getting the idea of what Lan Kwai Fong in Hong Kong is like. It's a section of town between Central and the Midlevels heading up the mountain so it has steep hills and walkways, treacherous when you're trying to look sexy in your high heels and you've had a little too much of the good stuff. On the weekends, the streets are restricted to pedestrian traffic only so it becomes one giant expat/tourist street party. There are lots of open air restaurants, bars and dance clubs and people dance in the street to the upbeat music blaring out of the clubs.
There is one bar called Marlin's which offers a free t-shirt if you can win the "10 Shot Challenge." There is a chalkboard where the bartender records the fastest time each player gulps down 10 shots and everyone stands around in the street cheering each other on as each player approaches the "walk up window" to prove they're the fastest guzzler in LKF. Some folks dress in crazy outfits and some folks randomly dance with anyone walking down the street (they must have done the 10 shot challenge).
During the Rugby Sevens hosted in Hong Kong, Lan Kwai Fong goes from Bourbon Street to Brazilian Carnival overnight. The word insane is an understatement. Individuals move through the festively dressed crowds like ants moving through their mound of dirt. It looks like uncontrolled chaos teetering on the edge of armageddon but it's actually carefully orchestrated since HK hosts the Sevens every year. Lan Kwai Fong easily becomes the happiest place on Earth and it lasts for three solid days.
Lan Kwai Fong is definitely a meat market and everyone there is just looking to have lots of no-strings-attached fun. It's harmless, though, and even during the Sevens I never felt violated or unsafe. You just better be ready to be grabbed, danced with and maybe even kissed by a random stranger you've never seen before in your life and will probably never see again. Ahhhhhh, Lan Kwai Fong.
There is one bar called Marlin's which offers a free t-shirt if you can win the "10 Shot Challenge." There is a chalkboard where the bartender records the fastest time each player gulps down 10 shots and everyone stands around in the street cheering each other on as each player approaches the "walk up window" to prove they're the fastest guzzler in LKF. Some folks dress in crazy outfits and some folks randomly dance with anyone walking down the street (they must have done the 10 shot challenge).
During the Rugby Sevens hosted in Hong Kong, Lan Kwai Fong goes from Bourbon Street to Brazilian Carnival overnight. The word insane is an understatement. Individuals move through the festively dressed crowds like ants moving through their mound of dirt. It looks like uncontrolled chaos teetering on the edge of armageddon but it's actually carefully orchestrated since HK hosts the Sevens every year. Lan Kwai Fong easily becomes the happiest place on Earth and it lasts for three solid days.
Lan Kwai Fong is definitely a meat market and everyone there is just looking to have lots of no-strings-attached fun. It's harmless, though, and even during the Sevens I never felt violated or unsafe. You just better be ready to be grabbed, danced with and maybe even kissed by a random stranger you've never seen before in your life and will probably never see again. Ahhhhhh, Lan Kwai Fong.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
DDay -23
Observation #9: Let me first start by saying that Hong Kong and it's 263 outlying islands is a beautiful, lush, green mountainous country surrounded by the South China Sea. On a clear June day, I can see at least eight of those islands from my apt window but most of the time, all I see is "cloud cover" (shhh...it's really pollution). June, July and August are the prettiest, clearest months because the life giving rain washes away all of the nasty emissions to reveal a beautiful, blue, endless sky that merges effortlessly into the reflecting ocean.
It's too bad that Hong Kong and China are among the most polluted countries in the world with seemingly no desire to fix the major source of the problem...vehicle emissions. For less than $100 USD per car, a hi-flow catalytic converter will vastly reduce emissions which will in turn improve air quality. That takes care of the air, but what about the South China Sea? Over 133,000 tonnes of sewage waste, heavy metals and gasoline are dumped into the Pearl River Delta by surrounding manufacturers each year. Of course all of that pollution spreads to the beaches on the island.
We have a bird's eye view of the largest and most popular beach in Hong Kong and we can see the trash bags, gas slicks and other junk floating in the water right where people are swimming. People can choose whether to go in the water or not (we choose not) but the poor pink dolphins of Hong Kong can't. They are forced to ingest that nasty water and then female dolphins carry around the toxins in their maternal fat stores which in turn causes their first born babies to drink toxic milk and they die, nearly 100% of the time. Subsequent babies fare better since the poor first born got the brunt of the toxins.
Humans are suffering, too. Air pollution causes asthma, allergies, heart attack, stroke, lung conditions, chronic fatigue, respiratory distress, etc. Prospective immigrants to HK cite the cost of living and pollution as the main reasons they decided not to move here. They go to Singapore instead. The US govt was so distraught about the pollution levels in China (which China states aren't that bad) that it began monitoring the pollution levels and then tweeting the results hourly. Beijing just recently issued a warning to the US to stop meddling in their affairs. We'll see what happens. If history is anything to go by, probably nothing.
It's too bad that Hong Kong and China are among the most polluted countries in the world with seemingly no desire to fix the major source of the problem...vehicle emissions. For less than $100 USD per car, a hi-flow catalytic converter will vastly reduce emissions which will in turn improve air quality. That takes care of the air, but what about the South China Sea? Over 133,000 tonnes of sewage waste, heavy metals and gasoline are dumped into the Pearl River Delta by surrounding manufacturers each year. Of course all of that pollution spreads to the beaches on the island.
We have a bird's eye view of the largest and most popular beach in Hong Kong and we can see the trash bags, gas slicks and other junk floating in the water right where people are swimming. People can choose whether to go in the water or not (we choose not) but the poor pink dolphins of Hong Kong can't. They are forced to ingest that nasty water and then female dolphins carry around the toxins in their maternal fat stores which in turn causes their first born babies to drink toxic milk and they die, nearly 100% of the time. Subsequent babies fare better since the poor first born got the brunt of the toxins.
Humans are suffering, too. Air pollution causes asthma, allergies, heart attack, stroke, lung conditions, chronic fatigue, respiratory distress, etc. Prospective immigrants to HK cite the cost of living and pollution as the main reasons they decided not to move here. They go to Singapore instead. The US govt was so distraught about the pollution levels in China (which China states aren't that bad) that it began monitoring the pollution levels and then tweeting the results hourly. Beijing just recently issued a warning to the US to stop meddling in their affairs. We'll see what happens. If history is anything to go by, probably nothing.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
DDay -24
Observation #8: Hong Kong taxes are a breeze to navigate. With the VAT included in the price of everything (except big ticket items like cars/housing/rent), there is no need to stand in the aisle looking like a doofus with your iphone calculator pulled up so you can figure up how much your bill will actually be when you get to the check-out counter. And figuring and paying income taxes are a dream here.
I have no idea why the US tax income system became so complicated but I have spent MONTHS getting our US income taxes in order and they still aren't done. It's a good thing that US citizens living abroad get an automatic extension to file on June 21 or we would be up a creek. You know how long it took me to do my HK taxes? Only the time it took for me to print out my IR56G (like the W2) from my employer, take the bus to the Inland Revenue Department, stand in line for two minutes and sign a paper. Total tax preparation/filing time = 30 minutes.
Oh, and my taxes are only 16% of income after all the allowed deductions. I wish the US would simplify things, too. One negative side of taxes here is that the price of a car doesn't incude the taxes, just like in the US. The difference, though is that taxes on a new car are 100% of the purchase price. That's right. You pay for the car twice. It's kind of like buying a house in the US...if you're lucky.
I have no idea why the US tax income system became so complicated but I have spent MONTHS getting our US income taxes in order and they still aren't done. It's a good thing that US citizens living abroad get an automatic extension to file on June 21 or we would be up a creek. You know how long it took me to do my HK taxes? Only the time it took for me to print out my IR56G (like the W2) from my employer, take the bus to the Inland Revenue Department, stand in line for two minutes and sign a paper. Total tax preparation/filing time = 30 minutes.
Oh, and my taxes are only 16% of income after all the allowed deductions. I wish the US would simplify things, too. One negative side of taxes here is that the price of a car doesn't incude the taxes, just like in the US. The difference, though is that taxes on a new car are 100% of the purchase price. That's right. You pay for the car twice. It's kind of like buying a house in the US...if you're lucky.
Monday, June 4, 2012
DDay -25
Observation #7: Hong Kong boasts the world's freest economy and when you do business as a vendor or a consumer here, you are experiencing capitalism in its purest form. Pricing regulations are so lax that the prices are tiered and set to market conditions like the stock market. They can change daily or even hourly. I bought an iphone Stylus at the market for $25 ($3 USD) but when I went back for another one the next day, I got it for $22.
Everything is negotiable and I mean everything and there are a lot of variables that can affect the bottom line. The biggest factor is perceived wealth. Need a curtain fitting for your apt? As soon as the vendor sees that fancy expat building you're living in, the price will jump at least 50% percent. If he discovers that the curtain is for the helper's room and she's paying for it, the price will decrease by 50%. Locals pay somewhere in between but it's really hard to know how much anything costs. Price discrimination is rampant and I assume legal since no one does anything about it. It's not fair but that's the way it is. If I take my quilt to the dry cleaner, I pay $150 HKD. If my helper takes it in, she only pays $100.
At Wanchai market, I will be charged $10 for bok choy, a local will be charged $5 and a helper will be charged $1. The price of cars, rent, hotel rooms, clothing, even groceries and pretty much everything else will vary based on your tier. Expats get the highest price until they figure out that it's best to let their helper do all the shopping. Even the freest economy has a loophole. : )
Everything is negotiable and I mean everything and there are a lot of variables that can affect the bottom line. The biggest factor is perceived wealth. Need a curtain fitting for your apt? As soon as the vendor sees that fancy expat building you're living in, the price will jump at least 50% percent. If he discovers that the curtain is for the helper's room and she's paying for it, the price will decrease by 50%. Locals pay somewhere in between but it's really hard to know how much anything costs. Price discrimination is rampant and I assume legal since no one does anything about it. It's not fair but that's the way it is. If I take my quilt to the dry cleaner, I pay $150 HKD. If my helper takes it in, she only pays $100.
At Wanchai market, I will be charged $10 for bok choy, a local will be charged $5 and a helper will be charged $1. The price of cars, rent, hotel rooms, clothing, even groceries and pretty much everything else will vary based on your tier. Expats get the highest price until they figure out that it's best to let their helper do all the shopping. Even the freest economy has a loophole. : )
DDay -26
Observation #6: Being a tropical island, Hong Kong is a sportman's paradise. There are beautiful and challenging hiking trails here as well as surfing, parasailing, paddle boarding, swimming, wake boarding, marathons, wind sailing, skiing, etc. I didn't mention bicycling because there really isn't anywhere to do that here although lots of people do. The asphalt roads are tiny but the trails are too hilly so people choose to bicycle on the roads and they either slow/stall traffic or they end up getting hit. Buses and taxis are not concerned with pedestrians/cyclists and they will hit you if you don't get out of the way. We heard a terrible story of a parent at our school who was bicycling when he got hit by a bus and now he is paralyzed. We also heard about a helper who died saving the child she was watching. She got hit by a bus and was dragged a long the street and killed. We have personally witnessed 4 children, 1 teenager girl and 1 helper get hit by a taxi. Don't expect drivers to slow down to let you cross the street. More often than not, they will speed up when they see a person trying to cross. On the flip side, murder rates and personal crime rates are very low and kidnappings are almost non-existent (not true on the mainland). Aside from taking my life into my own hands every time I cross the street, I actually feel very safe here.
DDay -27
Observation #5: Now granted these are only MY observations so please take the following observation with a grain of salt. In my experience, expats in Hong Kong are treated very differently than locals. In some ways we are treated better but in some ways we are treated much worse. We are either treated with prejudice, ignored or overly pampered by the locals. We are not normal here. The prejudice part is the reason why expats tend to stay in their own little communities and the pampered part is why some expats become more pompous and spoiled the longer they live here. I totally get why immigrants in the USA choose to stay in their own bubbles and not assimiliate with the locals. It is really hard to live in a place where you feel like you aren't accepted as a complete member of society but rather as the foreign trash (I read about expats being called that by the locals in the South China Morning Post so it's true). We are also called derogatory names like gweilo and Tai Tai and probably other things I haven't heard yet. Expats in any country, including America, should be treated as productive equals because in most cases they are very hard workers and just want a better life for themselves.
DDay -28
Observation #4: Most drugs sold in the USA by prescription only are sold over the counter here in Hong Kong. You can get almost anything without a prescription and very cheap. If you need it, you can get Lexapro, Xanax, Codeine, Z-pack, Viagra, Ambien and the list goes on and on right over the counter. Just for kicks, we went in a pharmacy and asked for stuff just to see if they had it. Turns out, they do! I was told that a large percentage of Hong Kongers are walking around half stoned from their easily attainable pain killers. I don't know if that's true but it's certainly possible.
DDay -29
Observation #3: As of January 2012, Hong Kong is the 2nd most expensive place in the world to live (Tokyo is #1). I pay on average $30 USD/lb for chicken, $10/pt of strawberries, $6-$10 for a box of cereal, $8.39/gal for gasoline, $20+ for crappy lotion or other "imported" lotions and creams, $90 for a mediocre hair cut, etc. Trust me, you don't want to buy anything butchered, processed or grown in China. It has a terrible smell and flavor. I generally order my meat from an Australian importer and I bring back my make-up/lotions/shampoos from the states when I can so I don't have to pay exorbitant prices for it here at the American import store. The high cost of an apt here is too embarrassing to discuss. Due to high inflation, the prices get worse and worse everyday. I think it's time to go home.
DD (Departure Day) -30
Observation #2: Hong Kong has one of the best public transportation systems in the world and is one of the few places that I've ever been where you don't need a car to get around EVER! I always told Iain that I wanted to live in a city like NYC for one year just to see what's it's like. I never thought it would be the Asian NYC but I'm really happy we lived here and I even got two years out of the deal instead of just one. : )
Count down to departure
It's May 29 in Hong Kong and one month from today our time in Hong K will come to an end. To mark this occasion, I will write one observation of HK per day for the next 30 days. The first one is that even with full-time, live-in domestic help, juggling our jobs and our kids' day to day activities in HK is much harder and trickier than it is in the USA (and I've lived in lots of USA cities to compare it to).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)